One Royal Holiday – Countdown to Christmas

Admittedly, my least favorite trope in Hallmark movies are royals. Any chick with a tiara is annoying as hell to me, and the way royals are portrayed in these movies is laughable–so this movie wasn’t exactly set up to be on my favorite list, that’s for sure. I mean, it might work better if we had something like a young Prince Harry in Vegas…you know what I’m saying? That man has personality! I’ll always remember Prince Harry as the ‘party prince.’ Unfortunately, the hero in One Royal Holiday is more like Prince William (who seems a hell of a lot more uptight than Harry, let’s be honest.) No, we don’t get a party prince in this movie. Instead we get Crown Uptight, Panties-in-a-Wad Prince… But I digress. (He gets a little better as the movie progresses.)

And who can forget that (the former) Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, is also a former Hallmark movie heroine? 🙂 🙂 🙂 Can’t get better than that, Hallmark. Well done. 🙂

Quick Blurb: Immediately the movie starts out with the heroine heading home to her small town in Connecticut for Christmas. There is a storm approaching and her father owns a beautiful Inn. She runs into the royal family and their plane is grounded because of the approaching storm. She drives them to the Inn where they end up stuck for several days (in writer’s terms that’s called forced adhesion. haha).

Here’s my rundown of One Royal Holiday.

One Royal Holiday

Clean cut couple (Especially him lol) ✓

Cute Meet ✓

Christmas Choir ✓

Cute, INSANELY decorated house ✓

Sweet old person who is very wise (Queen) ✓

Winter storm (no way out of small town) ✓

Christmas parade ✓

Small town setting ✓

Spontaneous crowd singing a Christmas song ✓

Christmas tree decorating with singing ✓

MAIN EVENT: Royal address on Christmas Eve + Christmas Eve Pajama Ball (that’s changed to a formal ball after almost being cancelled) ✓

Kiss at the end ✓

And there’s one more little staple that I hadn’t noticed in the other movies before (but it happens quite a lot): Hero/Heroine are JUST about to admit how they feel about each other but they are interrupted by harsh reality and don’t profess their love. LOL ✓

The hero–Prince James–was a total dick in the beginning, but I thought his incompetence and sour attitude was funny. He’s such a snot that I’d never personally go for him (royal or not), but hey, different strokes for different folks. As for the heroine–Anna–she smiles and laughs WAY too much, which might make me a little cynical to notice that, but I can’t help it that I like her a lot less than the snotty hero. I mean, who the hell is that happy all the time? It was over the top, even for a Hallmark movie.

So, beside the fact I doubt the royal family would be stuck in the middle of nowhere with only one dude with them (their security went on the plane ahead of them, because that makes total sense), the movie started to grow on me. Even the snow they had on set–none of it was dirty at all, and though that would usually irritate me, I found myself liking it. Here in South Dakota the snow gets dirty fast, but realism didn’t fit with this movie.

Snow cleanliness aside, my only huge problem is that the heroine has the personality of a dead Christmas tree that’s still decorated with really pretty bulbs and beautiful lights. She’s attractive (and her hair is curled to PERFECTION and her makeup is AHmazing), but under all those pretty clothes and shiny lipstick she’s boring and predictable. I didn’t like her at all. And the prince? Eh. Did nothing for me. He started to thaw out as the movie went along, and that just made him less interesting. At least when he was acting like a snotty piss-ant he was funny.

And the CASTLE is HILARIOUS when the royals arrive back home. EFFING HILARIOUS. It’s like something straight out of DisneyWorld, where kids can play in it. hahahaha If the Crown Prince took me to that castle I’d laugh my ass off. Then I’d break up with him.

I’d give this movie three stars. It wasn’t horrible, but just to warn you–this is like a little kids’ movie for adults. It’s silly and cringe-worthy in a very Hallmark way. Two weeks from now you’ll hardly remember the characters, but if you need a movie to pass the time…I guess watching One Royal Holiday isn’t the worst thing you could watch. Just ignore the royal slipper that ‘fits perfectly’ at the end. That was so over the top. LOL

Here’s the trailer for One Royal Holiday:

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